Question 1

What if he/she refuses to cooperate?

Accepted Answer

This is probably the most common concern I hear, and I understand why. You're wondering if one difficult spouse can derail the entire sale.

Here's the reality: they can make it harder, but they can't stop it indefinitely.

If your spouse refuses to cooperate:

First level: Try mediation. A neutral third party can often break through the resistance and help you reach agreement.
Second level: Your Separation Agreement should outline dispute resolution processes. Follow those steps.
Third level: If they're actively obstructing (refusing showings, sabotaging the sale, violating your Separation Agreement), your lawyer can file motions with the court.
Final level: The court can order the sale over their objection. Judges have the authority to force the sale when one spouse is being unreasonable, especially if:
 • The home can't be maintained on one income
 • Both parties need the equity to move forward
 • Children's needs would be better served by      selling
 • One spouse is being deliberately obstructive

What I do in these situations: I act as the neutral buffer. I document everything meticulously (that forensic investigation background comes in handy). I coordinate with both lawyers. I implement systems that work even when spouses won't communicate directly. I've successfully closed sales where spouses never spoke to each other during the entire process.

The bottom line: Difficult doesn't mean impossible. It just means you need the right team and the right systems.

Question 2

Can I change the locks if my spouse moves out?

Accepted Answer

No. Not without their consent or a court order.

I know it feels like it should be your space now. They moved out. You're still living there. Why shouldn't you be able to change the locks?

Here's why: Ontario's Family Law Act gives both spouses equal rights to the matrimonial home, regardless of whose name is on the title or who's physically living there. Changing the locks without consent or a court order is called "lockout," and it violates their legal rights.

The exception - safety concerns: If you're worried about your safety or your children's safety, talk to your family lawyer immediately about getting an exclusive possession order. Courts take safety seriously and can act quickly when there's genuine risk.

For complete details on matrimonial home rights and exclusive possession, see Chapter 2 of my book - The Divorce Real Estate Playbook

Question 3

Can my spouse refuse to sell the home?

Accepted Answer

Yes, they can refuse. But if one spouse wants to sell and the other refuses, the spouse wanting to sell can apply to the court for an order forcing the sale.

Judges can order the sale even if one spouse objects, considering factors like children's wellbeing, financial circumstances, housing alternatives, and safety concerns.

The reality I see: Even when one spouse is being difficult, negotiating usually costs less and resolves faster than fighting in court. But sometimes court is necessary, and when it is, the tools are there.

For a full explanation of court-ordered sales and what judges consider, see Chapter 2 of my book - The Divorce Real Estate Playbook

Question 4

Can we sell before our divorce is final?

Accepted Answer

Absolutely, and in most cases it makes sense.

You don't need to wait for the divorce to be finalized. Many couples sell during the separation period because:

Financial reasons:
 • You stop hemorrhaging money on carrying costs      (mortgage, taxes, utilities, maintenance)
 • You're both still responsible for these      expenses until sold
 • Every month of delay costs real money
Practical reasons:
 • You can both move forward sooner with your      separate lives
 • You have funds when you need them for new      housing
 • You're not financially entangled during a long      divorce process
Timing reasons:
 • Divorce proceedings can take a year or more to      finalize
 • Real estate markets fluctuate, waiting is      gambling on what the market will do
 • The house isn't getting newer or more valuable      while you wait
What you need to make this work:
 • Both spouses' consent to sell (or a court      order)
 • Clear Separation Agreement specifying how      proceeds will be divided
 • Coordination with your lawyers to ensure      proper legal handling

Most of my divorce sales happen during separation, not after divorce is final. It's actually the norm, not the exception.

Question 5

Can I sell the house without a Separation Agreement in Ontario?

Accepted Answer

Technically yes, but I'm going to be blunt: it's a terrible idea for contentious separations.

Here's why selling without an agreement creates problems:

No clarity on proceeds: How will the money be divided? What if you disagree after the sale closes? Without written terms, you're setting yourself up for expensive legal disputes when real money is on the table.

Frozen funds: Your lawyers might freeze the proceeds (or a portion) in trust until you reach an agreement about division. Your money just sits there, inaccessible, while you negotiate.

Who pays for what: Repairs? Staging? Commissions? Legal fees? Without an agreement, every expense becomes a potential argument.

Closing complications: Lawyers handling the transaction need clear instructions on where money goes. Without a Separation Agreement, closing can turn into a nightmare of last-minute negotiations.

The smart approach: Get your Separation Agreement done first, or at least get an agreement that covers how the house will be sold and proceeds divided. This provides:
 • Clear terms for the sale
 • How proceeds get divided
 • Who's responsible for what costs
 • Dispute resolution process if disagreements  arise

Yes, getting your agreement done takes time. But spending a few extra weeks getting it right could save you months of legal battles and thousands in disputed funds.

Question 6

Who maintains the mortgage during separation?

Accepted Answer

If both spouses are on the mortgage, both remain jointly and legally responsible for payments until the home is sold and the mortgage is discharged. This is true regardless of:

• Who lives in the home
 • Who moved out
 • What you verbally agreed between yourselves
 • How you feel about it

If one spouse stops paying:
 • Both credit scores get damaged (not just theirs, both of yours)
 • Interest, penalties, and fees accumulate, reducing your equity
 • The lender may initiate power of sale (forced quick sale at lower price)
 • The damage to your credit lasts 6-7 years

What to do if your spouse stops paying: Consult your lawyer right away. You may need to cover the full payment temporarily to protect your credit. You can recover these costs through equalization later, but you cannot easily recover your credit score.

For the full breakdown of the "mortgage trap" and how it destroys people financially, see Chapter 5 of my book - The Divorce Real Estate Playbook

Question 7

Who pays home expenses while it's listed?

Accepted Answer

Typically, both spouses continue to share expenses proportionally unless a different arrangement is specified in your Separation Agreement or court order.

What "home expenses" includes:
 • Mortgage payments
 • Property taxes
 • Home insurance
 • Utilities (heat, hydro, water)
 • Maintenance and repairs
 • Condo fees (if applicable)

Get it in writing: Put all expense-sharing agreements in writing, in your Separation Agreement ideally, or in a separate written agreement both of you sign. This prevents the "I thought you were paying that" disputes.

For details on coordinating expenses during the sale, see Chapter 6 of my book - The Divorce Real Estate Playbook

Question 8

Do we need two Realtors?

Accepted Answer

No, and I strongly recommend against it.

Having two Realtors usually creates a disaster that costs you both money:

What goes wrong:
 • Communication breakdowns between agents
 • Conflicting marketing strategies
 • Two signs on the lawn screaming "DIVORCE" to buyers
 • Buyers assume desperation and submit lowball offers
 • Longer time on market costing thousands in carrying costs

Real example: A condo that should have sold for $574,000 sat on the market for six months with two agents and eventually sold for $535,000. That's a $40,000 loss plus six months of carrying costs (roughly $30,000). Total damage: $70,000+.

What works instead: A single Certified Divorce Specialist who works impartially for both parties provides one point of contact, one consistent strategy, identical information to both parties simultaneously, and no visible signals to buyers that this is anything unusual.

For complete details on why this matters and how my neutral approach works, see Chapter 5 of my book - The Divorce Real Estate Playbook

Question 9

What if I want to buy out my spouse?

Accepted Answer

A buyout is a common alternative to selling on the open market, but it requires careful planning and realistic assessment.

How a buyout works:
1. Determine value: Get a professional appraisal to establish the      home's fair market value as of the separation date
2. Calculate equity: Current market value minus outstanding      mortgage and selling costs that would have been incurred
3. Determine buyout amount: Your spouse's share of the equity, adjusted      for equalization
4. Qualify for refinancing: You must refinance the mortgage in your name      alone based on your individual income
5. Complete the buyout: Buy out your spouse's share, transfer title      to your name only, and remove them from the mortgage

Critical considerations:
Can you actually afford it? You need to afford:
 • The mortgage payment on your income alone
 • Property taxes
 • Insurance
 • Utilities
 • Maintenance and repairs
 • Emergency fund for unexpected issues

The stress test: Current lending rules require you to qualify at a rate higher than your actual mortgage rate. With Toronto's high home prices, this is often a significant hurdle.

What I tell people considering buyouts: Talk to a mortgage broker first, before you get emotionally attached to keeping the house. Get pre-qualified based on your income alone. Understand the true costs. Then make the decision based on facts, not feelings.

For the complete buyout analysis including hidden costs and qualification requirements, see Chapter 4 of my book - The Divorce Real Estate Playbook

Question 10

Who is responsible to ensure the home is ready before each showing?

Accepted Answer

This should be clearly defined in your Separation Agreement or in a written agreement you both sign before listing.

Common arrangements:

Option 1 - Both still living there: Divide responsibilities by day or week. One spouse handles Monday/Wednesday, the other Tuesday/Thursday. Both ensure the house is ready for weekend open houses.

Option 2 - One spouse living there: The spouse living in the home is typically responsible for day-to-day maintenance and show-ready prep. The other spouse may contribute to costs or help with major cleaning/preparation.

Option 3 - House is vacant: Either split the responsibility for periodic checks and cleaning, or hire a service and split the cost.

Why this matters: A home that shows poorly gets lower offers. It's that simple. Buyers notice dishes in the sink, unmade beds, clutter, and poor maintenance. It affects their perception of value and their willingness to pay top dollar.

For complete showing coordination strategies and preparation protocols, see Chapter 6 of my book - The Divorce Real Estate Playbook

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